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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647890">If and Only If</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickelboi/pseuds/nickelboi'>nickelboi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alivebur, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), DreamSMP - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Mild Blood, Minecraft, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Sleepy Bois Inc. - Freeform, Tubbo is mentioned, Twins Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Wilbur Soot Angst, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, i spent weeks on this, no beta we die like men, please</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:07:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickelboi/pseuds/nickelboi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil shook his head. “You really did it this time, kid.” He ran his hand through Wilbur’s hair, just like he did when Wilbur was a child. Wilbur closed his eyes, slightly leaning into the comfort. Wilbur coughed, this time crying out.<br/>He took a large breath, struggling for air. His eyes fluttered shut. Niki held his hand tighter, tears spilling down her cheeks. The once great L’manberg was quiet.</p><p> </p><p>What if the 16th had happened differently? How could SBI possibly recover from this? It’s a bit late but I hope you enjoy nonetheless :)</p><p>Slight violence and blood TW</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sleepy Bois Inc. - Relationship, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If and Only If</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! First fic, I took ages to write and perfect. I hope you enjoy! It took me months to finish it and I’m really happy. Now go cry, my loves.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The ground had finally stopped shaking. Niki looked at the fallen L’manberg, or what was left; there was a giant crater where the city used to be. She looked around, looking for any survivors. Fundy was to the right of her under some debris, with Quackity trying to free him from where he was pinned. Tubbo and Tommy were hanging off each other, both were covered in blood. But she couldn’t find Wilbur anywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There was a traitor, Tommy.” Dreams’s voice rang out. He chuckled. “It was Wilbur.” They all turned, hearing a voice in the distance. A hole in the mountain revealed a disheveled Wilbur, yelling at Philza. He tossed a sword towards him, still screaming, his voice blown away by the wind. Phil had his eyes trained to the ground before picking up the blade, seemingly studying it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wil?” Tubbo took a step, wincing from pain. Wilbur didn’t hear them. Instead, he grabbed the sword in Phil’s hand, guiding it to his chest. She shook her head. “No.” she mumbled. She started climbing over the debris toward the mountain, her feet slipping on the loose rock. The sound of steel meeting skin sliced through the quiet, a piercing scream coming behind it. Dream laughed somewhere in the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki was the first to race up the cliff, her breath catching as she hoisted herself up the ledge. Wilbur lay in a pool of blood. She gasped, tears welling in her eyes. His head was in Phil’s lap, a sword strewn across the bare rock. Phil said nothing, gently pushing Wilburs bangs out of his eyes. Fundy eventually made it up the rock, Quackity close behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur took a shaky breath, which turned to a cough, blood splattering on his lips. “I’m sorry.” he managed to choke out. His eyes fluttered, tilting his head slightly to study her face. Niki kneeled next to him, holding his hand in hers. She gently brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss onto his knuckles. His chest shuddered as he tried to breathe, wincing at the pain. Fundy dropped to his knees, speechless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil shook his head. “You really did it this time, kid.” He ran his hand through Wilbur’s hair, just like he did when Wilbur was a child. Wilbur closed his eyes, slightly leaning into the comfort. Wilbur coughed, this time crying out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a large breath, struggling for air. His eyes fluttered shut. Niki held his hand tighter, tears spilling down her cheeks. The once great L’manberg was quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only lasted for a mere minute, before a screeching sort of cry rang through the air, filled by an explosion and a hiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all looked out of the cavern, seeing Technoblade standing in front of stacks of soul sand, wither skulls scattered among the rubble. He stared up into the cavern, grief passing over his face for a brief moment before his expression hardened once again. He unsheathed his sword as the wither continued to wreak havoc. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you see?” he yelled over the screams of the wither. “Democracy did this! Wilbur knew this! It drove us all into the ground. I can’t let this stand.” Phil looked Techno in the eyes, seeing what his son had become. This wasn’t the Technoblade Phil remembered. Techno’s gaze was stone cold, his eyes full of hatred. He placed another skull on the sand, spawning yet another wither with a sickening scream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s not true!” Tommy yelled. Techno turned to Tommy, who was still hanging off of Tubbo. Tears had welled in his eyes. Technoblade rested his sword against his shoulder, staring daggers in Tommy’s direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, you should be on my side! Ever heard of a man named Thesues? He freed his country, just like you, only to be sent away and murdered. These people will turn on you, just like they did when Schlatt was elected.” He placed another skull onto the sand, summoning a third wither. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Theseus saved his people, only to be exiled. It’s how the world works, with each man clamoring for power. Once they’ve used you, they’ll be done.” Something vaguely passed through Technoblade’s eyes. “Just like you did me.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki and Fundy had begun to help the others out of the cavern. The withers took a notice to them and started to send explosions their way. She helped aid Quackity down the wall, pointing him past the obsidian walls. He nodded, then reached his hand out for Fundy. An explosion hit next to where he stood, and he flinched. Fundy grabbed his hand and jumped down, both of them racing through the crater, avoiding as many explosions as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki looked towards Phil, who had stood up, holding his son in his arms. He cradled his head against his shoulder. Without a word, Phil spread his wings and took off out of the cell, dodging the withers as he went. Niki ducked as an explosion went towards her and the boys, Tubbo and Tommy dropping to the ground. The ceiling was quickly crumbling above them. Niki ran over, helping them to their feet and leading them down the side of the mountain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno laughed at the destruction. All she could do was help the boys climb out of the cavern and dodge the withers. She turned around briefly to see Quackity, Fundy, and Karl had retrieved weapons and were slowly killing the withers one by one. Technoblade had disappeared somewhere, the damage already done. Tommy looked behind him, fear stricken in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki had managed to help Tubbo and Tommy escape the violence, deciding to head to Pogtopia for shelter. It was all the group had left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made it there right as the sun had fallen, leading into night. The boys were exhausted, and had suffered pretty serious blood loss. Niki used what was left in Pogtopia to wrap and clean their wounds, making sure the boys were resting. She was sitting guard as the hidden entrance, just in case someone were to find them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was tired of fighting, tired of having the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was tired of losing people she loved, of seeing </span>
  <em>
    <span>children</span>
  </em>
  <span> fight in wars they shouldn’t even be thinking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was so tired. Tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. She lost Wilbur; her best friend. Her family when she had none.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was her fault. She didn’t realize how sick he was. How twisted he had become. She let them all down. The once kind and loving young man, now… she hardly recognized him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She remembered their promise, all those years ago. It was after Phil had met Wilbur, and invited him to live at his cabin. He was afraid that he would be abandoned, or that he’d never be allowed to see Niki again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll make sure I’m well, yeah?” he asked, never taking his eyes off the stars. They were lying on the roof of the bakery Niki worked at. He had been abused by his last family; it’s why he ran away from the city in the first place. He met Niki on the streets when he tried to steal from the bakery she worked at. After that, she had saved him goods every night, leaving the goods behind the bakery in the alley. About a month later, they had their first conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They clicked after that, meeting up every night to sit on the roof. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over at him. He was only 14, but he looked aged beyond what he should be. She saw the pain in his eyes, tha vague scars on his arms and hands, and swore she’d look out for him. She reached over and tucked a stray curl behind his ear. “I won’t let anything happen to you Wil.” They smiled at each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was fully crying now, sobs wracking her body. She pulled her knees to her chest and focused on her breathing. She heard steps coming from outside the entrance to Pogtopia. She wiped her eyes quickly and stood, the hilt of her sword cold in her hands. The dirt disappeared, revealing Phil. He looked a mess, with ash and dirt covering his wings, his robe burned at the edges with tears throughout the clothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her sword dropped with a clatter as she ran to hug him. He held her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. She crumpled in his arm, dissolving into sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault.” she hiccuped. “I knew something was wrong, but I-I didn’t stop him. I didn’t help him Phil. I let him go…” She grasped the back of his shirt as if it was a life line. He rubbed circles on her back, trying to calm her. Tears pricked in his own eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He couldn’t be helped, Niki. He was… sick. Nothing could’ve helped him.” He paused. “I’m the one who left him…” Niki pulled back, her eyes red and puffy. He let go of her, holding her small face in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not dead Niki.” She stared back at him, a brief expression of hope passing over her face. It was quickly replaced by sadness, her face crumpling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil sighed shakily. “I came to get you and the boys and take you to my cabin.” Niki stayed quiet for a moment. She simply nodded and Phil helped her to her feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki carried Tubbo on her back, and Phil cradled Tommy in his arms. They headed towards Phil’s cabin in the arctic. He built it knowing that L’Manberg would fall apart, and he regretted not putting a stop to everything sooner. He also didn’t anticipate having his son demand he kill him, or just how much TNT Wilbur had planted. Still, he knew he’d carry his regret with him for life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took about a day and a half to get to his cabin, the boys sleeping the whole trip. Their wounds were healing well, but the exhaustion from pain and blood loss kept them mostly asleep. When awake, they could barely understand what was happening. Tommy didn’t even recognize Phil, he was so out of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> When they got home, all three of the kids fell fast asleep. Tubbo and Tommy refused to leave each other, even when they were asleep, so Phil pushed two beds together to accommodate. Phil checked over the kids at the cabin, and discovered Tommy had broken his ankle and Tubbo had torn his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki was fine, but Phil had no idea what happened to Quackity, Fundy, or Karl. After taking Wilbur away, he came back to help them, but the withers were gone along with the three men. Techno had run off as well, his stuff still at Phil’s cabin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil sat by Wilbur’s bed day and night, only leaving for about an hour at a time to make sure Tubbo and Tommy were okay. He’d watch his chest rise and fall. It was shallow, and each breath seemed like a struggle. He had suffered head trauma, internal bleeding, along with a long, jagged wound across his abdomen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought he had killed him originally. He insisted Phil kill him, wanting to die by his fathers hands. Phil couldn't bring himself to do it, instead swinging his sword towards him, slicing him with the tip of his blade. It was healing okay, a bit slower than Phil would like, but still healing. He had put healing potions on the wounds, hoping it would help, but little progress had been made. It was going to be a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo and Tommy quickly grew restless from being in bed all day. Tommy had a major break at his ankle, and Phil told him it would take a while, but Tommy being Tommy, he didn’t listen. Niki and Phil both had caught him trying to sneak out of his room. It was hard not to catch him, being on one foot meant he had to hop from place to place, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the second floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo was much better, but his anxiety was through the roof. He needed someone with him at all times. When sleeping, he’d usually clutch the end of Tommy’s shirt as he slept, needing assurance that Tommy was there and alive. Likewise, Tommy never left Tubbo unless he had too. Niki slept at the end of Wilbur’s bed on the floor, making sure he made it through the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It gave Phil a break, anyway. During the day he’d sit and watch him. He lost Techno, he couldn’t lose Wilbur too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One thing Phil and Niki both had noticed as the three healed was the sheer amount of nightmares they shared. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur would cry in their sleep, sometimes mumbling names and phrases. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On one particular night, Tommy woke screaming. Phil jumped from where he sat in the hall, rushing in to find Tommy, his knees to his chest rocking as he cried. Tubbo was sitting next to him, his head resting on Tommy’s shoulder. His eyes were closed, his hand resting on Tommy’s. Phil’s heart broke a little bit as he watched for a moment. Tommy’s eyes met Phil’s, and his lip quivered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” his voice cracked. Phil sat on the bed, his arms open. Tubbo lifted his head and sat quietly as Tommy crawled into Phil’s arms. “I lost you guys, I couldn’t-” he hiccuped “I couldn’t find you guys. There was fire, and withers…” Phil carded his fingers through Tommy’s hair trying to calm him. He took a shuddering breath before continuing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here Tommy.” Phil assured him. Tubbo moved towards them, resting his hand on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too big man, we won’t leave you.” Tubbo smiled. The corner of Tommy’s mouth shifted into a vague smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He tried to kill me.” Tommy said quietly, his smile dropping. Phil tensed and held Tommy a little closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo seemed tense too. “Who Tommy?” Tommy sniffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Techno. In the dream he… he said I was going to die anyway. That I couldn’t find you guys because you left me. You didn’t want me anymore.” He buried his face into Phil’s shoulder. He rested his hand against Tommy's mess of curls. Tubbo wrapped his arms around the both of them, whispering assurances to Tommy about how he was safe, and how they loved him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been three weeks since the explosion and Tommy and Tubbo were off bed rest. Tommy still had to be careful, and had to use crutches to get around. He complains constantly about it, of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil was still sitting by Wilbur’s side, day in and day out. One day though, Wilbur started to stir. Phil looked up from the book he was reading. Wilbur’s eyes fluttered open for a moment before closing again. He groaned and lifted a hand towards his head. Phil carefully pushed his hand down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful there Wil, you got beat up pretty badly.” Wilbur opened his eyes again, trying to focus on Phil’s face. He looked down at himself, wincing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad?” Wilbur’s voice was scratchy. Phil smiled softly. He moved his chair closer to Wilbur. Wilbur winced and tried to lift up his shirt, searching for the wound he knew was there. Phil once again moved his hand away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s leave that Wil. You got hit pretty good. You’re going to be okay.” Phil reached his hand toward Wil’s face, but thought against it and rested it on the side of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat staring at each other for a moment. The look on his face reminded him of when he was little. It was the same face he made when him and Techno would get into one of their fights, his face etched with guilt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should’ve let me die.” Wilbur’s voice broke near the end, his words hanging in the air. He searched Wil’s face, seeing the sadness in his eyes, the dark circles under his eyes. Phil’s heart ached for his son. What he did was terrible, but he was still a kid. He was only 21, hurt and scorned by the world. This was his retaliation. Phil didn’t think he meant to hurt people, it wasn’t in Wil’s nature. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil perched himself on the edge of Wilbur’s bed. “No, you don’t Wil.” He helped Wilbur sit up, tears started spilling down his pale face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… I don’t remember much. I knew they were hurt but… I didn’t…” Phil gently held Wilbur in a hug, hushing him as if he were a child. Wilbur gently grasped Phil’s robe, crying into his shoulder. “I’m sorry Phil, please… Please forgive me I…” he sobbed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil could only hold on to him. Eventually he had tired himself out, his grip loosening on Phil. Phil gently let Wilbur down onto his pillow. Phil left him to inform the other three that Wilbur was finally awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he remembers everything?” Tubbo piped up. Phil nodded. Phil had gathered them in the living room. Tommy was bouncing his knee, obviously tense. You could practically see the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out what he was to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When can we see him?” Tubbo finally asked. There was a pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even want to see him Tubbo?” Tommy turned to look his friend in the face. “He almost killed us! He knew what was going to happen, he knew what was at risk, yet he did it anyway! Without a second thought!” His voice was thick with emotion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, he wasn’t thinking… I’m upset too, I can’t believe what he did, but we have to help him.” There was a gap in the conversation, the two staring at each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every night I’m there again, hearing that awful lighting noise. My ears are still ringing from the explosion, the scene playing in my dreams, and you’re willing to essentially forgive and forget?” Tommy wiped at the tears starting to form in his eyes. “We were brothers, and he was willing to bring me down with him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki sat silently in the corner, looking out at the window as the snow fell. Phil was trying to mediate behind her, but she was off in her own world, watching the snowflakes dance to the ground. She hadn’t seen Wilbur yet. She viewed him as fragile; breakable. Afraid that she would unintentionally hurt him even more than she already did. She tuned back in to Tubbo yelling at Tommy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He hurt me! The one person who said he’d never put me in danger, saying that he would never ever hurt me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tubbo!” He was standing now, towering over Tubbo. Tubbo’s eyes welled with tears. He hated being yelled at, especially coming from someone he cared about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki snapped, turning her head to lock eyes with Tommy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know he would never intentionally hurt you. You don’t have to forgive him now, but he’s still our Wilbur. We can’t give up on him.” Her voice was cold, her eyes never leaving Tommy’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stiffened, wiping his eyes and storming off. Well, as much as he could with a bad ankle. He passed by Wilbur’s room, hearing soft crying coming through the door. He paused for a moment, lightly placing his hand on the sturdy wooden door. He stood like that for a moment, debating whether he should go in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so angry at Wilbur, but he just wanted to know why. What pushed him to do that to them? Wil loved him, didn’t he? He took a deep breath before pushing open the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur was awake, a notebook and pencil in his hand. Probably writing, no doubt. Wilbur always worked through his feelings via writing, especially when it was so difficult for him to communicate how he felt. He wiped his eyes, seeing Tommy standing there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur looked up, grief passing through his eyes as he met Tommy’s. His icy blue eyes met Wilbur’s warm brown ones. Tommy stood in the doorway, watching. Wilbur looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was pale, and his usually half-neat curly hair was frayed and matted. He had bandages up his arms, and a thick fabric bandage around his torso.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sent chills up his spine. He didn’t realize just how badly Phil had hurt Wilbur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood there a moment before Tommy finally built up the courage to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” he croaked. They stood in silence another moment, Wilbur searching Tommy’s face, trying to think of what to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy…” Wilbur trailed off. He set his notebook to the side, choosing to fiddle with the pencil to avoid meeting Tommy’s gaze. He took a deep breath before speaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Tommy. I know it’s not enough but…” he sighed, wiping his eyes again. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know what came over me. I felt stuck. Nobody liked me anyway. I didn’t even help overthrow Schlatt, I was just there. These voices… it sounds silly, but I couldn’t resist.” He gripped the pencil in his hand. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span> people, Tommy. I hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I swore to protect you and I almost killed you.” He was interrupted by a sob. His pencil clattered to the floor as Wilbur frantically wiped at his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy slowly limped towards the bed. He sat on the edge, studying Wilbur as he seemed to collapse in on himself. Wilbur winced as he cried, probably due to the fact that his wounds were not yet healed. Tommy wrapped Wilbur in a hug, trying his best to be gentle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur wrapped his arms under Tommy’s, clutching to him for dear life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wil…” he trailed off. “You could’ve talked to me, to anyone.” Wilbur sniffed, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you cared. I helped build that nation only to be brushed off. I’m sorry Toms, I know it’s stupid and it’s not an excuse…” Tommy clutched onto Wilbur’s sweater, tears welling in his eyes. They cried into each other's shoulders, crying over all they lost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil went to check on Wilbur about an hour later. He managed to calm Tubbo down after his and Tommy’s argument. Tubbo didn’t do well with conflict by any means, and he held him as he cried himself to sleep. Phil seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. He had to stay strong for the lot of them, they had nobody else to be there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a sinking feeling in his chest when he saw that Wilbur’s door was open. He rushed to the door, opening it to see Tommy and Wilbur were squeezed in a bed, holding each other. It was the same as when they were kids, with Wilbur holding Tommy to his chest. His arms were around Tommy’s shoulders, and Tommy’s hands were clasped around Wilbur’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled the breath he had been holding. They were fine. He gently closed the door, opting to go carry Tubbo to bed. He went back out, seeing Niki now had Tubbo’s head in her lap, slowly stroking his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was still upset, I think he was having a nightmare.” she whispered. Tubbo’s face looked pained, his hands held close to his chest. Phil sighed, reaching down to pick him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should head to bed Niki.” he gently pulled Tubbo towards him. Phil was getting too old for all this carrying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nikki nodded, staring out at the snow. The snow had stopped falling. It was instead eerily still outside. Phil looked at her a moment before heading up the stairs to place Tubbo in bed. Just as he pulled the blankets to Tubbo’s chin, Niki appeared in the doorway. She leaned against the door frame, hugging herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going to be upset if you leave him.” she said quietly. Phil looked down at Tubbo, already noticing that he was tense with fear. He reached out a hand, searching for something. Niki appeared at Phil’s side, grabbing his hand. Tubbo immediately softened at her touch. She sighed, a smile gracing her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil stepped back, rubbing his chin. He was so tired. Niki looked up to him, silent. He turned towards the window, trying to steady his breathing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Phil. You don’t…” she paused, searching for the right words. “You don’t have to be invincible.” Phil took a shaky breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to be the adult Niki. You’re still…” he choked on his words. “You’re still kids.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki looked between Tubbo and Phil, biting her lip. She carefully rested Tubbo’s hand back onto the bed, quietly standing up. Tubbo whimpered, but rolled over, silent once again. Niki walked behind Phil, carefully wrapping her arms around him. He stiffened before turning around to return the hug. He sniffed, resting his chin on her head. Niki took a shaky inhale, squeezing her arms around Phil gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let her go, and she crawled into bed with Tubbo. He immediately clung to Niki, finally resting easy. Phil went back to where his two sons lay fast sleep. He returned to the chair he usually sat at, watching them breathe. It was an assurance that they were alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his head in his hands, letting the tears fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a coward. He knew Wil was… sick. He knew Tommy needed a better and more sturdy figure in his life, but he stayed away. He was a failure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wiped his eyes. He was just thankful they were alive. He hoped he could mend his broken family. Wilbur already seemed to regret what he did, the trauma snapping him out of whatever trance he was in to want to destroy L’Manberg and its inhabitants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all needed to realize they weren’t alone, he was there. He finally wanted to be there. He was ready now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat there, wallowing in his grief, when he felt a hand gently rest against his own. He took his face out of his hands, to see Wilbur. Wilbur grabbed his hand in his. Phil looked into his eyes, being met with grief and regret. Phil took another shaky inhale, wiping the tears from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go back to bed, Wil. I’m okay.” Phil tried to sound upbeat, ultimately failing. Wilbur looked worried. He pulled Phil’s hand towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault.” he whispered. He placed Phil’s hand against his chest. “I’m still here. It’s not your fault.” He stroked his thumb over Phil’s knuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil looked at his son, another tear rolling down his cheek. “I’m sorry Wilbur. I didn’t- didn’t want to hurt you I…” Wilbur shook his head, pulling Phil towards the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil obeyed, climbing into the bed and curling up next to his two sons. He was reminded of those nights when they were younger, seeking comfort and company. They’d climb into his bed, usually without warning. He sighed as he settled into the mattress. Wilbur turned back over, wrapping his arms around Tommy again. Tommy had turned back towards Wilbur, his head now resting beneath Wilbur’s chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil once again ran his hand through Wilbur’s mess of hair. He waited until Wilbur’s breathing evened out again before letting himself fall back asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next week or so was tense, with Phil having to constantly mediate talk or comfort. Tubbo had forgiven Wilbur, which was a bit surprising, considering how high his anxiety seemed to be around him. He was still apprehensive, and rightfully so. Tubbo still had a fear of being alone, and stuck to Tommy like glue. Tommy didn’t mind too much, probably because he felt the same inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy and Wilbur were okay. That’s the only way Phil could describe it. The love was there, but not the trust or closeness they had once. But they still talked, and they tolerated each other, just with a new tentativeness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, while the boys were out exploring the forest behind Phil’s house, Phil was still sitting beside Wilbur. Even though Wilbur was doing well, Phil still feared losing him. He would sit beside him as he napped, listen as he’d strum songs on Phil’s old guitar, and he’d make conversation when he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur noticed his father’s physical health deteriorate by the day. He had large dark circles under his eyes, and he seemed frail. He never seemed to sleep, and he was constantly comforting Tommy and Tubbo from nightmares. They had become less frequent, but the ones they did have were intense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t really talk about what happened either. Tommy and Wilbur had a real heart to heart, and were working past everything, but Phil? Other than that one night, he hadn’t discussed anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil was staring off through the window as Wilbur quietly wrote in his journal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” WIlbur tried to catch Phil’s empty gaze. Phil took a deep breath, closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” he opened his eyes again, meeting Wilbur’s. Wilbur knew that was a lie, and he debated whether he should push.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was my fault, not yours. You know that, don’t you?” Wilbur set down his journal. Phil didn’t respond, instead he stared at his hands. “I pushed the button. I came to the decision. I was so twisted in my own head.” His chest tightened at the memories. “I gave into it.” The room fell silent, the faint sound of laughter from out back drifting through the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was a terrible father Wil.” He ran his hand over his face. He sighed again, trying to find the right words. “I feel so much regret, and pain.” Wilbur tilted his head slightly, studying his fathers face. “I shouldn’t have run. You guys needed me. You felt betrayed by the world and needed love from somewhere, and Techno and I left you.” Wilbur carefully rotated himself to sit on the edge of the bed, wincing slightly. He was pretty much healed, but the wound was still tender and was beginning to scar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scooted in front of Phil. He struggled to find the words. Wilbur was dealing with his own guilt. He felt satisfied with L’Manberg being gone, but he knew it was wrong. He hurt too many.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There wasn’t anything you could’ve done. I hate to say it, but it’s true. But… we’re okay. That’s what I’m focusing on. Everybody is alive.” Phil resting his hand on WIlbur’s knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He studied the bandage around Wilbur’s torso, his chest tight. It seemed to really hit him then. Wilbur rested his arm across the bandage, as if he was protecting it. Wilbur tried talking to Phil, but he sounded distant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could’ve killed him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh gods. He could’ve killed Wilbur. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He gripped his knees, trying to focus on Wil. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He looked up, seeing Wilbur. Phil’s eyes clouded with tears. His son, he did that. He was alive, but he could never take away all the pain he caused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil lunged forward, wrapping Wilbur in a hug. Wilbur gasped in pain, and Phil loosened his grip. “I’m sorry- I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know dad, I know.” he sniffed. “I would’ve done it myself…” he trailed off. Phil pulled Wilbur a little closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please…” Phil whispered. WIlbur nodded. He understood completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually Niki came up the stairs, having prepared dinner for them. They were deep in conversation. Phil looked up and smiled at her. She hadn’t really visited Wilbur. Once he woke up, she stopped staying in his room and avoided the end of the hall completely. She held a plate in her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled awkwardly and gave Phil a look. Phil seemed to get the gist, bidding goodbye to Wilbur and leaving the two alone. Niki stepped further into the room as Phil left, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur’s face perked up, seeing her for the first time in weeks. “Hey.” he said simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello.” she paused. “I brought you dinner.” She shifted her weight from heel to heel. Finally she approached him, setting the plate on his side table. She still stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do with herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wore the sweater Wilbur had lent her; it was a mustard yellow, with holes in the yarn dotted everywhere. The sleeves were three inches too long, rolled up to her elbows. He shifted to the other side of the bed carefully, motioning her to sit beside him. She debated the idea a moment, pushing her glasses up her nose before sitting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I haven’t visited.” She played with the end of the sweater. ‘I was… afraid I guess.” Her voice was soft, tenderness backing her words. He turned to face her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.” The paused, searching for something to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you… do you regret it?” Wilbur stiffened at the question. She stopped messing with her sweater to look at his face. He was staring past her at the window, his face twisted his sadness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mostly…” His eyes darted to hers. “I regret the pain I caused, but the act itself?” He ran a hand through his hair, this time locking his gaze on Niki. “I don’t.” She shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you even think? We… we made a promise.” She reached her hand towards his face, hesitant. He reached out, lacing his fingers with hers. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Wilbur studied her face; he recognized anger behind her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran his thumb over hers, thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The guilt eats at me everyday, don’t think just because I don’t regret it wholeheartedly that I don't regret it at all.” he angled himself more towards Niki, wincing again and grabbing his torso. “Before… before it went dark… I saw them. I saw everything and- and I remember. I don’t want to, but I deserve to remember. Only small compensation for what I did.” Niki looked him over, noticing the burn scars on his arms, the slice in his brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every single day I look at myself and remember. I remember Tommy’s face… The betrayal and pain. The way Phil looked at me as… as I held the sword…” He didn’t want to finish the sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I wish he went through with it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki looked at him, surprised. She released her hand from his, gently wiping a tear away with her thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t.” she said gently. “I’d lose the one person who understood me; I’d lose my family, Wil.” He pulled away from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re too kind Niki.” He looked away from her and took a shaky breath. “Why did you come back to me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I love you Wilbur. I don’t forgive you yet, or understand, but I still love you.” She cupped his jaw in her hand. He leaned into it, closing his eyes and lifting his hand to grab her wrist. “You’re my best friend Wil, never forget that. I got you.” He nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached out to hold him, and he returned it just as much. She put one hand in his hair, pulling him close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ended up talking for hours, until they fell asleep facing each other, her hand resting against his face. Phil let them be,returning to his long abandoned room and sleeping for the first time in weeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over a month later, and life was almost normal. Wilbur was able to move on his own, same with Tommy. Tubbo and Tommy didn’t need to be together at all times, but they did share a room now. Phil had removed the wall between their two rooms in order to give them more space, although it wasn’t like Tommy gave him much choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki had built her own cottage nearby, visiting every now and then. L’Manberg had been rebuilt, but it was part of Dream’s nation now. There was a lake where the deepest part of the crater was, the pond now blooming with life. Though, Phil’s family never really went back. The reasons being a mix of shame and regret. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyday, Wilbur learned to live with his decision. He was healed now, a long scar across his abdomen was all that was left from the incident. Phil was trying to be better. Even with the assurance from his boys, he still felt like he needed to do more. He was more attentive now, noticing small changes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For example, Tommy would hold his hands together in front of him and mess with his fingers when he got anxious, or Tubbo would stiffen, putting his hands in his pockets. Both had flashbacks on the occasion, and when they did they’d always seek someone out, never wanting to be alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Wilbur was different. He had panic attacks, and he had them often without warning. Phil was the only one who could console him, wrapping his wings around them as he held Wilbur. He whispered into his ear, reminding him to breathe. He would run his fingers through his hair, just letting him be held. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was afraid he would revert to that place he had been in when he pushed the button. They all assured him he wouldn’t; that he was loved, and that he wasn’t a terrible person. He was trying to be better, and that was enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, after a heavy snowstorm, things changed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo had decided a snow day was in order. Phil watched from the porch, sipping his lavender tea when he saw a figure beyond the line of trees. He set the tea down, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. Dream showed up once after, when the boys were still healing. It didn’t end well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys noticed the sudden movement, following Phil’s gaze to the woods. The figure stood still, meeting eyes with Phil. Phil leapt into the air with a sharp movement of his wings, landing a few feet in front of the three. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream, I thought you learned your lesson last time.” Phil shouted. He unsheathed his sword, holding it out at his side. He felt Wilbur rest his hand on his shoulder behind him, concerned. He spread his wings, using them almost as a wall between them and the stranger in front of them. The figure took a few steps out of the shadows, into the sunlight. Phil froze, and he heard Tubbo gasp behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Warm red eyes met his own. Technoblade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His gold crown glinted in the afternoon sun, his cape wrapped tight around his shoulders. His normally braided hair lay a mess at his shoulders, the pink strands tangled and knotted. He ran a hand backwards through it, lifting his crown off his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy and Tubbo tentatively got closer to Wilbur, clutching onto his sweater. Wilbur’s gaze was fixed onto his twin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno stopped about ten feet away, his crown still in his hands. His hair blew slightly in the wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I…” Technoblade’s voice cracked. He looked down in shame. Wilbur’s eyes widened. The mighty and godly Technoblade was broken. Techno’s entire demeanor was deflated, the usually prominent bloodlust in his eyes gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tech…” Phil trailed off. He lowered his sword, his stance softening. Wilbur was shaking beside him, his hand now gripping Phil’s bicep. “What are you doing here Technoblade?” It was quiet for a minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted…” He gave Wilbur a once over. “I wanted to apologize. I know it’s not enough, for what I did.” He took notice of the long scar that went from Tubbo’s temple to just below his cheekbone. Tommy was frozen to the right of Tubbo, a scar cutting through his brow. Techno inhaled shakily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I let them get to me Phil.” his voice cracked again. “I didn’t… I didn’t want to. I was planning on simply disbanding the government, but they wanted blood… they demanded it.” He wiped at his face. None of them had ever seen Techno so vulnerable. “I left, and I know I should’ve helped, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why now.” Wilbur spoke, his voice fragile. “Why disappear for months and return, out of the blue.” His voice was rising by the second. “I left you behind to take care of them!” he roughly gestured to Tubbo and Tommy behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno’s eyes hardened for a moment. “Don’t act like you’re better than me, we both messed up Wilbur. You and I are the same, we both succumbed to the voices and now we pay for it.” Wilbur’s jaw snapped shut. He was right, and he knew he was right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make it hurt any less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil interrupted, taking a step towards Technoblade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I tell Wilbur, the fact you regret and want to be better is enough, Techno. But, you don’t just come back here, apologizing, to throw blame to someone else.” The air was tight, Techno’s posture now upright, his face cold and empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you try and kill us?” Tommy spoke quietly. Techno’s cold exterior once again crumbled, seeing his baby brother hurt like this. He didn’t have an answer for him. He could’ve ignored the voices, but he caved. He dropped to his knees, catching the others by surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I came here. I don’t deserve any kindness. I shouldn’t have caved, I-” Phil was in front of him now, tilting his head upwards. He gave him a half smile. Philza carefully wrapped Techno into a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder. Phil’s wings encompassed them gently, bringing the feeling of home to Technoblade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although apprehensive, they let Techno inside. They sat around the mantle as he told the story from his perspective. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy contacted him for help with the revolution, and it came to him as a surprise. Technoblade was residing in his Arctic Empire when the letter came, begging him for help. Wilbur had dragged Tommy into a revolution, and Tommy knew they would lose, unless Techno was there to help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat at his table, letter in hand. His twin brother, Wilbur. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered how Wilbur used to be. Growing up, Wilbur and Techno were inseparable. Phil struggled to get them to sleep in their own rooms, opting to take the wall between them down and giving them their own space, just like he now had to do with Tubbo and Tommy. Techno was tough on the outside, but Wilbur knew he loved him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the little things; a cornflower Techno had picked up outside, a smooth skipping stone from the creek, or even a feather he found that reminded Techno of his brother. Wilbur was more upfront and physical with his affections, choosing to sit and take care of Techno’s hair for him, or holding his hand as they explored the woods around their father’s house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno smiled at the memories that followed. Techno had always hated long hair. It got in the way in general, but especially in combat. It could easily be cut or grabbed, causing him weakness. But Wilbur loved the long hair, often detangling it and braiding it for Techno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since the age of seven, Wilbur would sit with Technoblade in front of him, gently detangling the knots with his fingers. Techno loved the feeling of Wilbur working his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno sat back in his chair, closing his eyes and trying to remember the feeling. Since leaving a year or so ago, he’d stopped taking care of it as much. He ended up cutting out knots or tangles rather than trying to undo them, and kept it in a ponytail rather than a braid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. If Tommy needed his help, he’d give it to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno went on to tell them about how he came in to help, providing potions, armor, and weapons. He noticed it barely, the way Wilbur’s personality had changed. Once warm and full, he was now cold, often wanting to be alone rather than socialize with his brothers.The Wilbur Techno knew loved to tease his brothers and pull stupid jokes on each other. This Wilbur was the exact opposite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until Wilbur told Technoblade his plan that he realized Wilbur had the voices too. The crazed look, the frantic need for violence. Technoblade had it too. The constant chatter in the back of his mind, demanding blood and chaos. That’s why he left, his grip on the voices was slipping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Wilbur was persuasive. He knew he shouldn’t have caved, but the thought of taking down a government was too appealing. He started gathering supplies, the same as Wilbur. Until the fateful day occurred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno paused, searching his family's faces. Wondering if he should continue. He looked down to his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never wanted to hurt you guys.” he again looked at the scars on Tubbo and Tommy. “I would never hurt you. I just… I lost control.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil nodded, inexplicably calm. “I knew you would one day. It was only a matter of time, son.” Wilbur had a hand in his hair, gripping it in a fist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have dragged you into it Techno. I knew what you dealt with.” He looked up, his brown eyes ridden with grief. “I saw it first hand. I remember the first time…” he let himself trail off, glancing at Phil. Phil’s eyes widened a moment, frozen before composing himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve helped you Wilbur, instead I fed into it. I’m so sorry.” He took a shaky breath. “Can you guys ever forgive me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo and Tommy shared a glance. Tubbo finally spoke up, the first time all night. “If we can forgive Wilbur, I think we can forgive you.” He nudged Tommy with his shoulder, the teen staring at Techno’s boots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toms?” Techno asked gently. Tommy refused to look up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just disappear and expect us to be okay... “ He practically whispered. He traced a scar on his palm, deep in thought. Phil grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know Toms.” he assured him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you lost control, but why didn’t you stay? All this regret and you were a coward.” Tommy spat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno looked down at his hands. He could hear Tommy’s cries as the withers chased them through the crater. He felt his chest constrict, suddenly there. He had no control, the voices chanting over and over again. Techno couldn’t breathe, his vision tunneling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voices were chattering, like a whisper in his mind. He tried to focus on something, anything. He heard Wilbur’s voice. Was it even real? Was it one of the voices, coming to surface? No, it couldn’t be. Techno struggled to breathe, choking out sobs in an attempt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt hands, warm and gentle in his hair. His band that held his long pink hair back was slid off, his hair fluttering over his shoulders. He inhaled, listening to Wilbur’s voice. Phil, Tubbo and Tommy sat on the edge of the couch, apprehensive and unsure of what to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Wilbur’s hands in his hair, detangling all the knots. He melted to the touch. He finally could understand what Wilbur was saying. He was whispering assurances and trying to encourage him to breathe. The chattering in his mind was quieter now, a dull roar in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on Techno, breathe with me. You’re here. We’re here. We’re okay.” He continued to untangle his pink locks, carding his hands through what was already detangled. He shuddered a breath, still staring at his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same hands that he almost killed his family with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sobbed, letting the tears fall. Wilbur paused, wrapping his arms around Techno’s shoulders from behind. He reached his arm up to where Wil’s arms lay, hesitating a moment before resting his hand on his forearm. Phil reached forward and grabbed Techno’s free hand, and Tommy and Tubbo carefully wrapped him in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He inhaled, his chest loosening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know, Techie. We know.” Tommy buried his face into Techno’s shoulder. Techno could breathe again, his head a little light. He felt a gentle hand swipe the tears from his eye. Phil was in front of him now, his hand now against Technoblade’s jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil’s green eyes, soft and kind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was home.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How we feeling boys?? I'm going to post the scene mentioned near the end sometime soon! Until then gamers...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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